Friday, May 18, 2007

hinge and bracket

I gazed out through the hole in the wall of the cottage and sighed. It reminded me of the hole in my heart where my old life used to be. My husband stood outside, all innocent and smiling, the walls of the garden surrounding him like the edges of a photo. He was framed by the yard, a bit like that poor chap Lord Levy really. A door would soon fill the space, a door that currently lay out in the sun, unloved and unhinged, would soon fit into place like the rest of my life. I felt a bit like the door, exposed to the wind and the sun, to the gaze of passers by, when all I wanted to do was find a door shaped space where I belonged, keep my family warm, and shut out the North all together. Soon there would be a new door and a new dawn. When Gordon Brown takes over, everything will fit into place for everyone, just like it will for me. Everyone will buy the house next door and knock through and the housing problem will be solved. Everyone will have to take over the house to the left of them of course otherwise it would be chaos, like when somebody uses their neighbour’s desert spoon at a dinner party. That's why we need the government, to make sure everyone uses the correct cutlery. I looked down at my diary and crossed out ‘chase builders for door’ and drew a thick line through ‘vote in labour leadership election’, then I looked over to the windows suspended in the breeze, a fresh coat of paint and now hung out to dry. Life’s a bit like that, I thought to myself. I rang Natalia to remind her to collect the children and pick up some Pimms on the way and then reflected some more on doors and the end of Tony Blair's good works, sigh.

19 comments:

Stay at home dad said...

Rilly, a minor masterpiece. It reminded me of doors and windows and paint and all sorts of building work I've had done in the past. I got through it all and I'm sure you will too.

debio said...

Oh Rilly - another classic hits the ether.

lady macleod said...

very Bronte girl. I have the overwhelming urge to stand on my terrace (as I have no widow's walk) gaze out over the river (as I have no moor) feeling the ocean breeze (as I have no cold mist) gather about me while I ....yearn.

@themill said...

So poignant Rilly. My, how I sigh.

Boswell said...

Your parody of Wife in the North appeared so promptly today that I'm beginning to think she is parodying herself! Maybe your dual blogs should be published in one book with two covers, one way up hers, the other way up yours. That would be a masterpiece!

Hilly said...

Pimms? Oop North?? Surely not???

mutterings and meanderings said...

Rilly, you really do write so beautifully my dear ...

Bramblehead said...

Just read your lovely blog. Am heaving a big wistful sigh as I write. Must speak to my husband about the upvc windows.

Omega Mum said...

Very beautiful. And would we get to move one house long between courses at dinner parties?

@themill said...

Rilly, having read your comment to SAHD, as well as mine, I think you are in reflective mood today.

Drunk Mummy said...

Loved your Post title Rilly. I can just about remember Hinge and Bracket (unfortunately). Everyone is saying how reflective you are today, my dear. I think you need to get a glass of wine down your neck, and reflect on finishing the bottle.

Sarnia said...

Has Gordon Brown had something done to his face?

Seeming the pic of him grinning on the front of the papers today - he looked to me about 10 years younger than he usually does.

What's the betting on botox?

dulwichmum said...

I agree with Sarnia, Gordon Brown had a face like a brown paper bag the cat slept on until just last week. What is going on?

The Secretary said...

Oh Rilly, I love the idea of knocking through into the house next door - but as I am down south we don't have a next door, we are detached. You lot in the north are all terraced houses and whippets with the odd ferret thrown in for good measure!

And I say this as an ex Northerner - I have been there!

The thinker said...

I ran off prints of yr last couple of blogs along with the WITN's to saviour liesurely, while the football or cricket was on. I think WITN wont shift many copies of her book unless your version is alongside - collaboration or schizo - whatever - they belong together in one tome.

Marianne said...

Rilly, I thought your description of the door said it all - unloved and unhinged. Waiting for a door shaped space to fill. I could really identify with that and I could see you felt it too. So sensitive!

Anonymous said...

Rilly, could you not just write to 'Wifey's publisher in a savvy media tart stylee ? I'm sure that a few expense account lunches at the very least are on offer..

rilly super said...

stay at home dad, thank you so much, I'm glad you understand what its like to have the painters in.

hi debio and thanks for dropping by

lady macleod, no moor and no mist? If only I could send you some of those, there is more than enough of both around here

@mill, I hope i did not make you poign too much dear

boswell darling, if only I was her, oh to step into her shoes, provided she had cleaned the clag off them, but what a super idea for the book - perhaps you could broach the idea with her first though...( what do you mean, parody?!)

hilly, you're not my eldest daghter that refuses to be in the blog are you? No, it can't be..sigh. yes, we do have pimms. it is smuggled up the M1 in dandelion and burdock bottles

M&M, that is very kind coming from you

bramblehead, normally the special software blocks any mention of upvc getting through, will have to talk to my technical people...

Omega mum, well, I don't know the precise details of how it would work just yet. I would be worried about the soup getting cold though

@mill, I think it is looking at my reflection in the new windows..

drunkmummy, I always take your advice most seriously and will follow it to the letter!

rilly super said...

sarnia and dulwichmum, he has probably employed Tony's make up artist, Those people can make anyone look good, or he has a painting in an attic somewhere

secretary, hmm, I hadn't thought of that, but can you ever be an 'ex-northerner' dear, that is the question? I mean, you can take the girl out of the north...

the thinker, crikey, this idea is really starting to grow on me. it could also be perhaps one of those 'parallel texts' that students buy. I can see wifey and me doing joint book signings and interviews on 'newsnight review', O'Reilly and Oh Rilly...

marianne, I don't think you are unhinged at all...hang on..you mean...you're not suggesting...!

anonymous, that would be fine by me, we struggling downnshifted authors are like actors, never miss an opportunity to eat as we don't know when the next fortnums hamper might arrive, sigh