Wednesday, May 23, 2007

the belles, the belles

It was by a curious coincidence that following the wistful remembrances of youth described by M&M, who has the misfortune to live even further north than me, the poor girl, my own childhood memories were pricked by the news of a new St Trinians film. I did feel a pang of regret that I was not asked to act as educational consultant on the production but if my agent tells me that wife in the north got the job because she was The Times education correspondent then that would be but another arrow in my broken heart, sigh. I did just want to dispell the rumour right now that the downshifting blogger's friend, Tom Watson is to star in the new movie as Billy Bunter. Thomas is a lovely young man and I won't have that kind of thing put about, thank you very much. I rang my husband to see if perhaps a rare trip to the cinema could be on the agenda but he was in a meeting so I told his assistant Fabio, who answered the phone, to pass on the message to my husband but to remind my beloved that I hoped he didn’t expect me to sit and watch him drool over a bondgirl for two hours. Fabio, however, the darling that he is, reassured me that it was Rupert Everett as the headmistress that was the performance to which he and my husband were really looking forward. Fabio is so very thoughtful and immediately upon sensing my unease reassured me that he was absolutely certain that my husband would come up and watch the film with me when it eventually arrived in The North because it would have been so many months by then since he had watched the premiere in London, for which he and Fabio had VIP tickets. Fabio then advised me that I should hang up. He and my husband were on business in Cannes, he explained, and stressed business, and they had both forgotten to bring the adaptors for their phone chargers. I put the phone down, took off my straw boater and school tie and sighed. I would find something else to re-engage my husband's amorous interest. I looked at my watch. I was late for my german class.

23 comments:

mutterings and meanderings said...

Oh you poor darling, your life is indeed hard and so much worse than mine....

Anonymous said...

Oh, Rilly, will you be wearing, ahem, school uniform for your trip to the cinema ?? If so, perhaps you could let me know where and when the film will be showing, so that I can, er, admire you from afar.. [Or not so afar if hubby and Fabio are, what can I say, 'unavoidably detained' by work on their Cannes 'filming' project..

Drunk Mummy said...

Dear Rilly - maybe you and M&M could collaborate on a new National Velvet film instead.
M&M could provide the horses, Fabio could be the jockey consultant, and you might finally get some oats.

rilly super said...

M&M, sometimes I have to reassure myself that my husband is not having a jolly old time having abandoned me up here, but I know of course he misses me every waking momment

anonymous, sigh, sometimes I do wonder what I have to do to get a chap to take me to the pictures, never mind anything else. You are very kind to offer your services dear.

drunkmummy, maybe I should take your advice dear. People do say I look a little like Elizbeth Taylor, although more like her in 2007 than in 1944, sigh.

Anonymous said...

I notice that you have slightly led me up the primrose path, to raise my expectations, only to have them dashed by the fact that the 'St Trinian's' website does not yet appear to be fully operational...

Perhaps you have on file some pictures of young women suitably attired which would help to keep the 'wolf from the door', as Wifey might put it..?

rilly super said...

anoymous,crikey, I checked all my links and they all work so you must have been doing rather a bit more research on this than me dear! Haven't you seen my disclaimer anyway: 'This blog is not responsible for the lack of content of external websites'.

Anonymous said...

You are right, Rilly, it wasn't your link it was the problem. I was just doing some further 'research' from the BBC site, you understand...

Although I must admit, I thought your reference to a cross-dressing Rupey Everett was a joke - how wrong I was.

Anonymous said...

do I smell green cheese here? your blogs are funny but let's be honest wifey got a book deal and u haven't.........heheheheh

rilly super said...

if only she would give away her secrets anonymous. I read and re-read her linked to article 'how to hit the jackpot' but nowhere does it explain how to do that by writing the great downshifting novel, sigh

Anonymous said...

green cheese, anon? have you been looking in my fridge again?

EmmaK said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EmmaK said...

Get it in perspective Rilly,
which is worse, living up north or living in the USA, as i do? I have been here for seven years. For the first four I bitched and moaned about it, but at some point i realized the positives outweighed the negatives...for one thing, only having to see my mother in law every two years!!

do you think in about THREE YEARS the same will happen to you and you will learn to adore rural life and the constant small minded attitudes of thine neighours?

dulwichmum said...

Darling Anonymous said...
"do I smell green cheese here? your blogs are funny but let's be honest wifey got a book deal and u haven't.........heheheheh"

Rilly is really funny dear heart. I sense a book deal is not far away at all. There are many styles of book and many writers to pen them - Rilly really is fab.

Omega Mum said...

I'm very worried about Fabio. Are you sure his fab-ness is serving your interests? Rupert Everett as the head? It's inspired.

I Beatrice said...

I do visit you most days you know, Rilly. And as you will see (if you ever look, that is), have now made a link with you on my own page.

I watch your valiant struggle - but can't help wishing you'd strike out under your own steam sometime!

Am still waiting for that northerner in fact, who will give an account of the horrors of being transplanted from Durham to Fulham - but I guess you don't quite see that as your brief?

Still, I live in hopes - and meanwhile do chuckle over your daily trials along with the rest of Blogdom.

Natalia, I have dropped for the moment, it might please you to know .... (there's just not time enough for everything is there?)

debio said...

How could they both have forgotten their phone chargers? Do they not sell such things in Cannes? Could they not instruct a flunkey to 'go find'?
Brillant stuff, rilly.

lady macleod said...

Funny stuff dear. Fabio? Fabio? Really?

Put in an Eddie Izzard DVD and laugh it away.

james higham said...

Confused. You're in the North, M&M is in the North and Wife in the North is in the North but M&M doesn't seem to mind it.

Anonymous said...

I'm confused as to why james higham is confused

Motheratlarge said...

Auf wiedesehen, dear, I'd say. Sigh...

Lizzie said...

Something else to engage your husband's interest Rilly? Divorce papers, perhaps???

Anonymous said...

Dearest Rilly, I am just in touch dear to apologise that your marvellousinterview hasn't appeared as yet, the young lady who is in charge of the site appears to be away from her desk. The cheek of it. She is London so I don't want to rub it in, but perhaps she's out having a good time.

I trust you'll be voting for the lovely cute young Scottish boy Craig in the Andrew Lloyd Webber contest this weekend, one has to support the minority groups. He's not as hot as the gorgeous Connie of course but hell you can't have everything, she really is a poppet, don't you agree?

This will say it's anonymous but it's that most grateful provincial blogger.

rilly super said...

anonymous with the green cheese in the fridge, sounds like you need a new pantry..

comment deleted, now look, even I don't delete comments so there's no need for you to do it

emma, sigh, yes, I see my mother in law about every two years too, trouble is that's about the frequency with which I see my husband too. I'm sure things will improve and I more than anyone would love to change the blog to 'having a jolly nice life in the north, thankyou' but I think that is far over the horizon, behind some dark clouds and a bleak northern hill, sigh

Dulwichmum, you are always so kind when you visit. I am so pleased about your own good news on the bnook deal front. I hope you will still visit even when you are famous. I shall miss you if you don't, really I will

Omegamum, don't worry dear, I'm sure he is a very good influence on my husband when he is away from my side.

beatrice, thanks ever so much for the link. I have added you too. i must try and catch up with the story over there as it is a lovely idea, what you are doing, and very well told as well.

Debio, you're right, it is odd. I even thought it was just an excuse to try and get me to sop calling, I mean how could they go on a business trip and not want to be on the phone all the time? I'm sure there is a rational explanation

lady mcleod, thanks for dropping by. Yes, he is really called fabio. I wouldn't make something like that up now, would I?

Mr Higham, very honoured by your presence. Yes, we are all three of us in the north together, in the same boat so to speak. I suppose that is why we are all such firm chums.

confused anonymous, There really is nothing to be confused about

motheratlarge, you are right. I think it was always a missed opportunity that auf widersehn pet was not made about southern wives in the north east whose husbands are away working on a building site, as architects, of course. hmm, I feel a pitch to granada for a pilot coming on, I must call my agent

Lizzie, I would never seek to capitalise on recent divorce payouts dear! Anyway, I will soon make a fortune from my book, my agent tells me, and I hardly see my husband often enough to justify even going to see my lawyer, sigh

anonymous, thankyou. It doesn't matter, I hope they use it but it was fun to do, sob sob
I'm afraid it is very much my husband who is the officiado of musicals in our household dear and he tells me Connie didn't do anything at all for him. i shall ask him what he thinks about this craig chap when I next speak to him, whenever that may be, sigh