Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Grimm up north

Having detected just a hint of criticism in some recent comments on this blog, although it'll probably just be me being oversensitive again, which is a weakness I have, I thought about how I could make myself more lovable and I have therefore followed in the footsteps of another blogger who I read from time to time and started learning German. This will hopefully endear me to some of the locals whose consumption of budweiser shows a predelectation for all things german. The other reason for doing this of course is that the way things have been with my husband lately this might help break the ice a little. After all, you know what they say, German is the loving tongue. Bob Dylan didn't know what he was talking about by the way, in fact neither did anyone who listened to him without a lyrics sheet in front of them. He didn't even have a blog, for goodness sake. I was sitting at the kitchen table doing my homework in between adding some more photographs of the aga to my new Herr Flickr account which I had started up to complement Strafe, I mean Strife, in the north when Tilly came in from school ever so upset. I could see she had been in the wars again ‘Mummy, all the other children keep calling you the the fallen Madonna with the big boobies! She cried, referring to the the effects of the new baby on certain of my vital statistics. My new found teutonic confidence instantly came to the fore and I leapt to my feet. ‘For you Tilly, ze var is over’ I reassured her, and leaving my German homework texts on the table I took Tilly by the hand and marched her back to the school. I resolved there and then that if the headmistress so much as thought about telling me to listen very carefully I shall say zis only once , then I would deport, I mean remove, Tilly from that school straight away. I won't have people making tired and obvious jokes in doubtful taste about my efforts to learn german! I didn’t know if I could educate Tilly at home but at least she would have more living space and I knew that I had months of bed time stories lined up from my german literature studies. Yes, it’s Brothers Grimm up north you know, seufzt…

26 comments:

wife in the north said...

I give in. I'm blogrolling you.

rilly super said...

oh gosh, thanks wifey. I'll add a link to you too, naturally

love rilly xx

Sarnia said...

The extent of my German is "ein kaltes bier bitte" which is extremely useful - especially if you want a cold beer.

Although - being so far oop North wouldn't Norse have been a better language to study, Rilly?

rilly super said...

sarnia, I can't think of any other expression you'd need to know, except possibly 'push' and 'pull'

as for being better off learning norse, you'd think so wouldn't you, but there'd be no use, as soon as those longships appear on the horizon we know they'll soon be here correcting our english again and there's no negotiating with them. If only they'd go back to raping and pillaging, sigh

Marianne said...

Love it. Are you a man?

rilly super said...

hello marianne and it's lovely that you dropped by. Is 'are you a man' what you say instead of 'how do you do?' where you come from dear? Hope you come by again.

Marianne said...

Well I come from 'Up North' myself, so no manners. You didn't answer the question though.

rilly super said...

hello again marianne dear. I suppose I didn't, so no I'm not

Anonymous said...

Ace ! Ace ! Ace ! Good Work, Rilly !

J said...

obviously don't feel you have to, but that would be very nice, thank you.
why would you think that marianne? golly.

mutterings and meanderings said...

Evening Rilly dear, less tension in the air tonight (so far...)

Lizzie said...

Now, now, boys, or is it girls?
It's Hands Christian Anderson off for me.

Anonymous said...

Eminem it's worth reading Granny in the South.

There's less tension in the air because Rilly has taken to deleting any criticim of herself!

And why not, eh?

rilly super said...

hello there M&M and lizzie, nice of you to drop by. Anonymous, there is no deletion or moderation of comments,life is too short dear. sorry if anyone has had trouble posting, I do too sometimes, can't read the damn word verification thingy, hope you keep on trying if you're having trouble, all the best chaps

andy said...

Hi Rilly, I've been out of action for the past week or so - it seems I've missed loads! I split my sides again this morning.. I'd only just gone them mended!

andy said...

..that is "got them" mended. You see, it's still not fixed...

Anonymous said...

Wasted I'd say, just wasted.You sad son of a bachellor. Your role model Wifey might have attained everything you secretly wanted yourself but were too inadequate to achieve. And whilst I think that her success has a smell of denmark in it, you, you can't even write your own sexually active material. Try changing hands at 99 and see what you could possible achieve on yer own hen or should that be cock!

Anonymous said...

Rilly ducks

You should hang your head in shame. Your altar ego has achieved two posts today and you?

Nothing

Good to see Wifey blogrolling you. A magnanimous gesture.

Anonymous said...

I hope wifey drives all you northern cunts, of which I assume you are one rilly, into the fucking sea. her little finger is more civilised than all you northern bastards put together

Anonymous said...

Now I think Rilly is a complete waste of space. This is not because I have an irrational prejudice against all things northern. I think that she is less talented than wifey and can be pretty unkind but I don't think that she should be drowned on those grounds. Any more than she should be drowned on the grounds of being a northerner (which she may not be - my money is on her being a southerner).

So I think you are being a tad unfair. Stick her in the stocks I say, but let's not drown her yet. After all, and I hate to mention this, but we are all actually reading her stuff, aren't we now?

Anonymous said...

I say drown the bitch and hurrah for wifey!

rilly super said...

hello andy, thanks ever so for dropping by. If your sides are not fully mended I will send Natalia round to help, she's very good with her hands you know.

anonymous/unfan/granny/beatrice , jolly nice to see you. I hope you will remember that I am only an amateur here and that is probably the reason why I spend less time writing on this blog than you do and why I perhaps lack the poetic turn of phrase that seems to come so easily to you, sigh

Anonymous said...

at last it comes out - the wifey fans are all anti-northerner and that's why they enjoy reading about northerners being pulled to bits. Glad to have been proved right, thanks foul-mouthed, unneccessary waste of space southerner.

Why is the wife magnanimous to have blog-rolled rilly? Rilly blogrolled the wife weeks ago. She must be magnanimous too.

Anonymous said...

I am a northerner. I live in the north. I am married to a northerner. I have two little northerner children. And I am a Wifey fan. So no, not all wifey fans are southerners.

Well, friend of Rilly (her mum?) the reason why wifey is magnanimous is that not everyone would blogroll someone who was using a blog to accuse you of being patronising, fake, exploiting your children blah blah

Is Rilly magnanimous? I don't think so.

rilly super said...

Oh gosh, you wait ages for the word 'magnanimous' to turn up and then a whole line of them come along all at the same time!

last anonymous, you do sound like you have a lot to cope with there poor darling. You should start a blog, it would be a hit for certain

Andy said...

I'm sticking with you Rilly. Wifey's just a load of sentimental old rubbish and patronises the hell out of those of us who live up here in the north.

Even the whole notion of 'wife in the north' is bloody insulting. An episode of Last of the Summer Wine has more social realism and is much funnier.

I'm now off to beat my wife, stick ferrets down my trousers, and round off my evening by eating some babies.