the flattering prizes

I hadn’t planned on anything spontaneous happening in this family until at least the weekend however I was very surprised to receive a schmoozing award from Lady Macleod and I therefore interupt this interuption in service with an unscheduled entry. I think that Penny from And who cares also mentioned me in connection with this honour but like Tony Blair's congressional medal I neglected to collect it. Lady Macleod, for those not as adept at recognising the deeply hidden origins of surnames as I am (it's a gift, you know), is from that strange and mysterious land at the end of the M6 and by curious coincidence it was this week that my husband announced that he had booked a romantic weekend north of the Cumberland Gap for a few weeks time. ‘Glasgow is the city of love’, he assured me, ‘after all, where else has a kiss named after it?’ I have already been shopping for suitable outfits as I always like to blend in seamlessly, just like I do here in The North, and I think that going to Scotland to listen to an Ulsterman sing about the summertime in England will ensure we'll pass with flying colours any citizenship test that Gordon 'the brit' Brown may throw at us in future. Actually, I have a little bit of scottish in me, specifically my liver which will feel like it's going home in a few weeks. So, anyway, I think it’s the done thing to award some of these things myself so here goes. I should add, and I mean this most sincerly folks, that I appreciate everyone who reads and comments on this blog but for the purposes of this particular accolade, could the following please step forward and be terribly embarassed, thankyou;

JJ at life is all cobblers, keen member of the Northampton Town FC fan club branch of the lefty party and generally awfully decent sort of chap. This award is about people who have a community minded view of blogs and this is why she is in my list here, as well as having a nice blog too of course.

Beatrice, who does something on her blog which should really be extremely dull and which would, in many people's hands, be just that but she actually produces something really rather lovely and she pays attention to her commenters and she is also someone who says what she thinks, so she obviously has some Yorkshire in her, and I'd therefore better not fall out with her. I know she's already got one of these but that house she describes sounds enormous so I'm sure she can spread them around a bit

Linda at Got your hands full because she encourages the kind of thing that you're reading now by conducting and publishing in depth interviews with struggling young talented but unrecognised bloggers, and yet also people like me as well. I'm sure she's got about ten of these already but she's a journalist so I'll just tell her there's a free bar at the presentation ceremony.

James Higham, or whatever he's calling himself currently, because he seems to spend more time plugging other people's blogs than his own and he plugged this one recently as well. He's got one of these things too but I'm sure the black market where he is can turn this award into illicit vodka faster than you can say I wouldn't eat the sushi if I were you

Just about everyone else I can think off almost certainly has this already so I'm orf up the wooden hill to bedfordshire. I need my beauty sleep you know, oh god how I need it, sigh

the future's orange

The future’s orange as a certain advertising slogan says and although my future may be the Orange Prize my present is the thogger, which has been handed to me, a little oily, by a very nice man who resembles Lembit Opik’s twin brother, that’s the twin that spends less time with his trousers off as he’s only a stripper and not a Liberal Democrat. This is for bloggers that make you think. I believe it is good form to nominate some others who make one think, but I haven’t been doing this very long and we don’t have electricity for enough hours in the day here to allow me to have really got to grips with all the blogs out there yet however to enter into the spirit of things, and hoping that next year these will be a little more personal, here are some blogs that make me think.

Wife in the North for making me think that you don't have to have had a terrible childhood or be a lesbian to be the next Jeanette Winterson.

Bronteblog for making me think that living in the north with consumption and no sex is hard but is still the best route to getting a book deal, Hollywood interest, and a Kate Bush song in your honour.

Jack Havana for making me think I must always be sincere as sincere can be in this blog or someone will send me up.

Alpha Mummy for making me think that a ceasarian story and a cake recipe in every post is the future of blogging, and for making me think that if I plug this then the Times will do the same for me, just like they did so splendidly for Wifey

Girl with a one track mind for making me think, well, I think I'll keep that to myself actually except she does make me think I would never have fallen for that fake flower delivery scam, oh hang on, that was the Times as well wasn't it so I hope this doesn't cancel out number 4.

I'd better go now, it's late and I have to get this ballgown back to mutterings and meanderings for her Young Farmers do. I'm crying all over it and it's dry clean only, in fact my eyes are as puffy as the sleeves, sob.