Sunday, August 05, 2007

Frantic and Friedman

I looked sceptically at my husband. ‘Surely you don’t mean the Dean Friedman is playing here in the village tonight?’ I said. My husband nodded smiling. ‘What are you crazy? How in the hell can you say what you just said?’ I asked. My husband showed me the poster. It was true, it was there in black and white, but why hadn’t he told me before? He knew I was a big fan. ‘You could have told me a little earlier!’ I snapped, looking at the time. ‘Is that why you’re angry?’ he asked. ‘No I’m not angry.’ ‘Maybe a little?’ ‘Not even maybe, but how am I supposed to feel with all the things you don’t reveal?’ My husband sighed apologetically. ‘What about the baby?’ I said. ‘We’ll take the children with us’, he shrugged. I glanced over to the baby engrossed in one of those things that au pairs give babies to play with. I sighed. ‘Baby stop playing!’ I told him. The baby looked at me briefly then carried on. ‘Baby now stop it’, I said, and turned to my husband. ‘You should know better’, I said. He shrugged and said ‘I know this is hard to do, but there’s no one to look after him but me and you’. I gave in and picked the baby up and we went down to the village Green.

The concert was absolutely packed so I gave Tilly some money and sent her to the bar whilst my husband and I turfed some locals off their seats. The baby started crying. ‘Baby I’m sorry’, I whispered. ‘I was wrong, I have no alibis, I was acting like a fool and I apologise’. I looked down into his sweet little face. 'Do you still love me?' I said, softly and the little baby look he returned to me said 'yes I still love you'. I should never have come, I thought, but when the man himself came on stage and all those bitter-sweet satirical songs about life and love and politics and relationships came flooding back into my memory the baby’s crying seemed to fade away. ‘You know’, began Dean, ‘sometimes it’s tough being an American in the UK lately’, he continued, ‘and I blame all you goddamn bleeding heart lilly livered limey liberals! George W Bush should come over here and kick your goddamn limey democrat ass!’ Crikey, I thought, Dean Friedman’s a neo-con? Now I really needed that drink. I turned towards the bar only to see Tilly subsumed in a crowd of rough young men in black t-shirts. I knew I had to get in there. I would have to rescue my daughter or I’d never get a bloody drink. My husband seemed to have disappeared but Dean Friedman had a free lap, sitting at his keyboard just nearby. I handed him the baby. ‘I’ll be back in a minute’, I assured him. ‘Just carry on dear’. The great man looked slightly concerned. ‘I can’t hold your baby Ma'am!’ he said. ‘What if he’s sick on my new shirt? I bought it especially for this gig you know, I wanted to look really smart’. I studied the loud American floral number in question. I was not exactly looking my best either so I was in no position to say anything. ‘Well’, I reassured him, ‘you can thank your lucky stars that we're not as smart as we'd like to think we are’ and I dived into the throng to save my G&T from being crushed by the crowd.

If the real Dean Friedman is reading this, we loved your set at RL last night, thanks for coming up our way, hope to see you again, and please please don't sue...

31 comments:

Cathy said...

I have a confession. I saw Dean Friedman in concert once. In my defense I was a student, it was at the students union and I was probably very drunk, as I have only the haziest recollection of the evening. Probably just as well.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Rilly, next you will be featuring a guest appearance by that wonderful singer Gerry Rafferty. But what we rilly, rilly want is for you to start a 'where are they now' feature about Bobby 'Summer the first time' Goldsboro, and the guy who wrote 'Escape [The Pina Colada Song]'.

Why don't they ever play these songs on Radio 1 anymore, sigh, ?

Flowerpot said...

the moral of this is don't ever let anything get in the way of your G&T.

I Beatrice said...

I have a rather shameful confession to make - I haven't the least idea who Dean Friedman is!

This puts me at something of a disadvantage when trying to conjure a meaningful comment - but I do take the liberty of suggesting you be a little more careful in the future about where (upon whose knee that is) you put your poor defenceless little baby!

dulwichmum said...

My word Rilly, you really are a genius.

rilly super said...

cathy, although you should of course not have spent your student days going to concerts and getting drunk I think you can be forgiven as it was to see Dean friedman

anonymous, if Gerry Rafferty plays near here he is very likely to feature in this blog. I'm not sure if you are pining for the lilting sax on baker street or the Stealers Wheel scene in Reservoir dogs though dear. it's a shame you don't get century FM where you are anon, as that station is basically radio one circa 1984 in terms of the playlist..

flowerpot, I'm glad someone has brought some morals to this blog, sigh

Beatrice, click on the links to discover the wonderful chap you are missing out on. The spoof video on youtube for 'Lucky Stars' is particularly inspired.

oh dulwich mum, darling, thankyou and your endorsement fee is in the post..

Lizzie said...

So, Rilly, you didn't bump into wifey, then?

Lizzie x

@themill said...

Rilly darling, it is never a good idea to entrust one's off spring with one's G&Y

@themill said...

Oops! I did of course, mean G&T!

mutterings and meanderings said...

Anon, you need to listen to BBC London's Sean Rowley's Guilty Pleasures. You get it online on the listen again option ...

Rilly darling, I am worrying your musical tastes. As long as there were no Northumbrian pipers there ...

Cathy said...

Rilly darling, just wanted to let you know that I have nominated you for a creative blogger award. Yet another badge for your sidebar...

Stay at home dad said...

Life, love and politics ... is he like an American Billy Bragg?

rilly super said...

lizzie, I don't think there's much chance of that happening, probably wouldn't get past her entourage sigh...

@mill, you're right dear, but as a responsible but human parent one has to make these difficult choices...

M&M, alas, there were no northumbrian pipes, and in a festival headlined by the Buzzcocks I suppose that is a shame but understandable, sigh

crikey cathy, thanks, I will drop by in a bit, although my only concern is that 'creative' implys you might think some of the stories of my grim life on this blog are ever so slightly embellished for effect, and nothing could be further from the truth as I'm sure you realise...

stay at home dad, A New Jersey version of Billy Bragg with a sense of humour perhaps you might say

Anonymous said...

folks - thanks for those radio station suggestions ! I am in the south west, so I shall have to try and listen 'online'.. that is if I can drag myself away from eighties videos on YouTube..

After 3.. I'm lost and I'm found..and I'm Hungry like the Wolf...

Glaswegian Anonymous said...

One of my favourite songs is 'The Bastard Son of Dean Friedman' by Half Man Half Biscuit.

I'm sure the woman who sang on 'Lucky Stars' was never credited. Why is that?

lady macleod said...

I'm sorry I'm confused, was the G&T for you, or for the baby? I think he should have a fair shot considering...

too funny as always.

Drunk Mummy said...

Ah Rilly - fantastic! I was singing along as I read the post (I have far greater things to be embarrassed about than knowing all the lyrics to Dean Friedman's work of genius!)
I wait with bated breath for a post dedicated to the great Randy Edelman's 'Uptown Up Tempo Woman (I'm a downtown downbeat guy)'
Does Dean Friedman still sound like Woody Allen?
'What, are you crazy?'
They don't make 'em like that any more (sigh).

Anonymous said...

eminem, thanks for your ''Guilty Pleasures' suggestion.. I did listen to some of it today, but had to give up when a 'phone-in' involved a 'fick bloke fram Saaf Lunnun' which did have shades of a 'you lookin' at my bird' undertone of violence about it.

But then it was recorded on a hot, sunny afternoon not long after the pubs had opened..

Ally said...

wonderful blog Rilly.

Thanks for the invitation, it's lovely here. I'll be back.

Y'see if more pop stars looked like this these days, then there would probably be a lot less trouble in the world.

Anonymous said...

Good point, ally, but what if some of them looked like this ?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr2M1HEEres

Jackie Luben said...

Gosh. I thought it was all true for a minute.

EmmaK said...

This blog is so informative rilly...up until now I had no idea who Dean Friedman was. But I thank my lucky stars that I now know.

Graf von Straf Hindenburg said...

Where was Hilly in all this?

@themill said...

Rilly darling, get yourself over to WITN's latest post and get writing!

Mopsa said...

And Rilly, for goodness sake make sure you take the Wifey comments into consideration too - it's war out there!

Dick Madeley said...

I'm not a Dean Friedman fan but I've stilled given you a thoughtful blogger award.

Beth said...

I'm a fan of Dean Friedman.
Saw him in Manchester a few weeks ago. He was excellent.

No, *really*.

rilly super said...

oh crikey, been away from all this for a couple of days, looks like I've got some catching up to do. Thanks to all these commenters.

lizzie, by the time I've had a few I have no idea into whom I am bumping I'm afraid.

@mill, I think I have learned an important lesson in parenthood, that's for sure

M&M, I just realised I think I already got to here. hmmm...but, bollocks, northumbrian pipes are beautiful and I am prepared to confess that to both of this blog's readers!

anonymous, Century actually played that song the other day and I should have remembered those carefree eighties days of my youth but, well, Maybe I need another holiday...

glaswegian anoonymous, now, half man half biscuit DOES recall those care free aforementioned days, listening to John peel when I should have been doing something like trying to pass my o-levels, that kind of thing which seemed so very unimportant at the time. I don't know why she was not named. She was just 'mystery woman' and i don't know if it was a marketing ploy or just DF wanting the limelight. She has a lovely voice, denise marsa, and she's still around I beleive

lady macloed, is that really you? but then, there can be only one! I stop giving all my children gin when they get past breast feeding age dear. it just becomes too expensive to use to make them sleep after that, increased tolerance of something, and do they appreciate it? sigh

drunkmummy, I loved this song when it came out. When he came on of course I was thinking all through the set 'has he got a woman hidden back stage?' and he had indeed roped in a local lass to duet with him. he sounds much more 'new joysey' when he sings, strangely, but yes, funny and very clever

rilly super said...

anonymous, I'm glad you noted he was from south london dear. There's none of that kind of thing north of the river you know, just love for one's fellow man, sigh

ally, gosh, thanks ever so for dropping by. I do hope you come again, and sometimes I even post more than once a fortnight, but it is august.

jackie, you are most welcome and lovely to see you.I don't understand though, are you suggesting there is an element of doubt in your mind??

emma, you really should find out more about him. He's a brilliant songwriter. anyway, crikey, never thought of this blog as educational but now you've mentioned it perhaps i can get some kind of grant...

herr hindenburg, I dread to think dear, I dread to think, sigh

@mill and mopsa, I haven't been keeping terribly up to date with events chez wifey of late I'm afraid, sigh. Will perhaps pay a little visitette as you have prodded my curiosity...

dick, gosh, oh crikey, thanks, I shall pop over shortly...

beth, he was excellent saturday night too, so I know you meant 'really'. thanks ever so for visiting. Although I can't promise Dean will play a major part in all upcoming posts I hope to see you again

Mr Farty said...

Gosh Rilly, did hubby get just a teensy bit jealous when he saw you in that video with DF? You're so hot!

rilly super said...

oh mr farty, you are too kind, but alas only the full panopoly of video fakery made me look that good, sigh...